Finally getting hip to the fact that it is the world's sexual barometer, Google has introduced its own sort of gaydar, which will tell you which celebrities are gay and which are straight. But how reliable is it?
Well, first of all, it seems to only index celebrities who have talked about their orientation at length, either to come out of the closet or fight back the gay rumors. So, for instance, if you search for "Is Elton John gay," before you get any articles you get a little icon that says "Best guess for Elton John sexual orientation is gay." The same thing happens for Jodie Foster, Ricky Martin, Rosie O'Donnell, and Neil Patrick Harris.
What happens when you use this new tool for those people who combat the gay rumors? Well, it says Hugh Jackman, Oprah Winfrey, Bradley Cooper, and Katy Perry are all listed as straight. Well, good for them! What about reportedly bisexual Lady Gaga? It doesn't say. Apparently Google doesn't think bisexuals exist either. Oh, but it says that Angelina Jolie is bisexual and same with Anna Paquin. Maybe they just don't believe Gaga!
That's the weird thing about this new feature is it doesn't rank everyone. There's no answer for Lady Gaga or baseball player Mike Piazza, who famously held a press conference to come out as straight. These are people whose sexual identity are all over the web, but for some reason Google's algorithm doesn't track it. Most D-listers don't rank either, like Carson Kressley and country singer Chely Wright. Guess no one needs to ask about them anyway.
The same goes for the closet cases. Ask about John Travolta, Queen Latifah, or Kevin Spacey and you don't get a direct answer from Google, but some fine article that will settle the score for you. So, is Google helping these people stay in the closet on purpose or do they just need to tune their gaydar a little bit. As for one closet case, it has no answer about Anderson Cooper, but it appears that we're providing an answer of our own.