Man's Dolphin Sex Memoir Suddenly Very Popular
Bestiality advocate Malcolm Brenner—author of famed dolphin sex memoir Wet Goddess—is back in the spotlight!
A self-described sex cult survivor, peyote enthusiast, and Wiccan, Brenner claims to have had a nine-month sexual relationship with a female theme park dolphin in the '70s. He wrote a memoir last year, but it was not until this week, when he gave an interviews to a New Zealand TV show and someone called "Bubba the Love Sponge," that Brenner's tale ended up on Huffington Post and other sites. He is now ordering a second run of his book and giving interviews to promote it.
On how the dolphin "initiated" sexual contact:
She began raking her teeth lightly against my arms and legs which was indescribably erotic. Some might find it frightening, I found it erotic.
The dolphin initiated the whole sexual thing. As I mentioned, she was in isolation—she'd be using me to satisfy her sexual needs.
On taking the dolphin up on her offer, for nine months straight:
What is repulsive about a relationship where both partners feel and express love for each other? I know what I'm talking about here because after we made love, the dolphin put her snout on my shoulder, embraced me with her flippers and we stared into each others' eyes for about a minute.
Brenner says his two ex-wives were aware of his dolphin ex-girlfriend, and perfectly OK with it. "His daughter from his first marriage even designed the book cover," the Huffington Post reports.
So what is sex with a dolphin like? From Brenner's Wet Goddess FAQ:
While mating, the female holds the male with her flippers tucked in behind his. She pushes, supplies thrust and controls depth of the male's penetration and timing of the act with her rhythmic thrusts. [...] Definitely one of the most liberated females in the animal kingdom!
Now, I don't want to give away any spoilers (hint: mineral oil and the revelation that "dolphins have no gag reflex") but here is an excerpt from Wet Goddess, in which the protagonist diddles his dolphin lover while his prudish human girlfriend watches, unaware:
She rolled in my arms, bringing her head up and pushing us farther out, so my feet came off the bottom. A second later, I felt her genital slit pressing the waffled soles of my sneakers. But her efforts seemed half-hearted compared to her usual flagrance, as if she found the audience inhibiting.
Cut that out! I thought.
Ruby was gentle and circumspect, but she wouldn't stop. She stared blankly, pretending she couldn't receive me, trying to convince me that human-dolphin telepathy was a stupid fantasy I'd dreamed up while getting stoned one night.
If I had been an observer instead of a participant, trying to stop a horny dolphin from rubbing off on my shoes while my girlfriend watched, I would have burst out laughing. On the shore was Elaine, who professed to like me but wasn't about to let me so much as cop a feel, while out here was Ruby, who would happily screw my brains out but happened to be the wrong species.
Wet Goddess currently has five stars on Amazon. [HuffPo, 3NewsNZ, WetGoddess.net, WetGoddessBlog, io9]
Update: Here is video of Brenner's interview with late-night New Zealand show Nightline. And here he clarifies that his first interview was with Nightline, not Bubba the Love Sponge. The post has been updated to reflect that.