Off-duty NYPD officer Michael Pena was arrested in uptown Manhattan last month after a woman said he grabbed her, flashed a gun, took her into an alley, and raped her. Police caught him red-handed, drunk, and armed. Innocence personified!

You may recall the initial defense strategy from Pena's crackheaded legal team: "There was no intent to sexually abuse anybody." I would have assumed that Pena would have been immediately released once those words were spoken, but apparently they took him to jail instead? The New York Post has the latest on the trial, in which Michael Pena tries to get you all to understand his situation properly:

"I wanted to call my girlfriend, but how am I going to call her when I got arrested for cheating with another girl?" Michael Pena told a sergeant after he was busted, according to police reports read in court yesterday.

Haha, Michael Pena was arrested for "cheating" with a 25 year-old school teacher that he snatched off the street at gunpoint. When bystanders saw him assaulting her in an alley, they wondered, "Hey, doesn't Michael Pena already have a fiancee? Call the police—of love!" We feel you, bro. Girls don't understand that shit sometimes.

Pena's lawyer notes that "Certainly, the engagement is still on track."

[NYP. Photo: AP]