Donald Trump is going to Australia this September, and he's invited a select group of business leaders to meet with him while he's there. Oh, except he's expecting that they'll pay at least $10,000 just to hang out with him.

What are you talking about, Donald? I can see you for free on the TV whenever I want, why the hell why I pay a "five figure investment" so that you can tell me how to bankrupt my business, leverage my debts, coat everything in gold plating, and slap my name on every damn product with a flat surface that comes across my desk. I already learned all that.

He's calling this little meet and greet the "Platinum Privilege." And the meeting will get you face time with The Donald, a framed photograph of you two, and a lifetime of sage advice that will, I don't know, get you to host a reality show or something. The offer letter is right here (click to expand), but if you got left off the list somehow, you can register on the web. I think I'll pass though, but I'd cough up $50 for brunch with Ivana and a tour of her shoulder pad collection.

[Image via Getty]