Some lady broke her hand on Matthew Fox's face trying to keep him from getting on a bus. Jay-Z was not happy that Chris Brown was performing at the VMAs, Gwyneth Paltrow refused to wear makeup to her book event, and Larry David could be a home wrecker. Monday's gossip is not on the list.

  • Former Party of Five actor Matthew Fox (who also starred in a failed pilot called Lost) was detained by police on Saturday night in Cleveland for hitting a woman outside of a bar. Apparently a drunk Fox tried to get on a party bus and the driver stopped him. Why he was trying to get on a moving assemblage of booze, strobe lights, and a stripper pole, we will never know. Nothing good ever happens on a party bus. Ever. Apparently the female driver barred his entrance and Fox swung at her and punched her in the boob. She fought back and cracked Fox in the lip, cutting him, and possibly breaking her hand in the process. Way to slug 'em, sister. Fox wasn't formally arrested, but we are left with so many questions like, what the hell was drunk Matthew Fox doing partying in Cleveland on a Saturday night anyway? [TMZ]
  • Yes, Beyoncé is still prégnant after the universe made love to her baby bump last night at the MTV Video Music Awards. You couldn't miss the damn thing. What you might have missed is that her husband Shawn Cartier, better known as the gangsta rapper Jay-to-Z, refused to clap for Chris Brown's performance. We wish there would be more of this in the music biz. The rest of the crowd is all forgiving him because he can dance well and Mr. Cartier is all like, "Um, remember when this kid beat up Rihanna? Yeah. I'm not clapping." I really hope Hova has a daughter. [Radar, TMZ]
  • Gwyneth Paltrow continues to be a threat to public safety by refusing to wear makeup in the Hamptons. Oh, and she had some dipshit reading from her new cookbook on Saturday at a bookstore where she told people how to live their lives and feel bad about themselves because she can just roll in without even some rouge and lip gloss in a pair of cutoffs and still look better than any other human being on the planet. Also, the signing was right before Irene hit Long Island, so all these people were out hearing Gwynnie's recipes when they should have been setting up sandbags for that wimpy bitch of a storm. See, Gwyneth is bad for humanity. It's practically scientific fact. [NYDN]
  • Looks like Larry David might have been a little too enthusiastic about his new girlfriend, actress Amy Landecker. Her ex-husband, journalist Jackson Lynch, says that she started dating Larry (and by dating, we assume he means sleeping with, which, ew) when they were still together. Apparently some people think Larry, whose wife Laurie left him (supposedly for a contractor), should be more sympathetic to the situation. Ever clever, David said, "For what it's worth, the only marriage I've ever broken up is my own." Now the real creepy part is that some people say that Landecker looks like the love child between David's real life ex Laurie and his TV alter ego's wife Cheryl Hines. Whoever is thinking that has way too much time on their hands. [P6, Gatecrasher]
  • Even though Kim Kardashian is officially married to Kris Humphries and they're back from their honeymoon, we still can't stop hearing about their damn wedding. Apparently they have K & K monogrammed sheets towels in the new $7K a night penthouse where they're staying in New York while she films Kourtney & Kim. Thank god Kourtney isn't living with them, because those monogrammed white sheets would have a totally different meaning. In other Kim news, she and her man partied in New York after returning from their Italian honeymoon (oh, there are pictures of them in bathing suits while on the honeymoon here) but then Kim went off to the VMAs in LA by herself. Get the divorce rumors started! [P6, Radar, Us Weekly]
  • Hilary Duff got $100,000 for getting fired from the long gestating Bonnie & Clyde remake. The producers of the flick canned her now that she's pregnant and she exercised a clause in her contract that said they have to pay her for the privilege. Wow, things sure were different back in 2009 when she was hired for the role. Like, you know, people cared about Hillary Duff. Now we only care about the insane amounts of money she gets for being fired from Bonnie & Clyde. In other news, when hearing about this Faye Dunaway died, was buried, rolled over in her grave, came back as a zombie, and ate Hilary Duff's brain. [TMZ]

[Image via Bauer-Griffin]