Cable news should never try to do comedy, even if a state of emergency has been declared. Here's MSNBC contributor Touré comparing Hurricane Irene to a bad date on Dylan Ratigan this afternoon. She's a "total bitch"—get it?

We would get upset about such a dumb, unfunny, sexist metaphor, but we're about to be wiped out by a hurricane and it would take away from valuable panicking time. Also, our mind is still blown by the bizarre art on Touré's recent piece for ESPN about what it would be like if Michael Vick was a mime.