President Obama is beginning his third consecutive annual family vacation to Martha's Vineyard, in August, when literally nothing happens anywhere. On a scale from 10 to 10, how furious does this pretend to make you? Because it makes some people very pretend unhappy!
Many of them feature shirtless photos of Obama alongside such zingers as, "It's hot outside, heading to take a double dip!" This refers to the possible economic re-collapse that our nation is facing, hehehehe. On a side note, all of Congress is on a month long vacation during this very same economic re-collapse. Another shows Obama, golf club in hand, saying, "I shot a 39 on the front nine — matches my approval rating." That's very complimentary to his golf game! He rarely shoots below 45. Yet another shows the president in business casual clothing on his cell phone, musing, "Wow, I'm eligible for an upgrade? Boy I needed that!" Cute, but what does this have to do with his Martha's Vineyard vacation? Stick to the fucking theme, Leno! Anyway, we'd share more but it would just give you cancer.
Meanwhile, Mittens "Willard" Romney, who was basically born on an actual silver platter with gold bordering in the highest tower of the most expensive castle on Martha's Vineyard, has been tearing into the President for daring to visit this aristocrat's island. Very dangerous territory there, Mittens. Really dangerous territory. Like, so dangerous that you should check your schedule to make sure that you, too, are not on Martha's Vineyard during the President's trip. Because if you're Mitt Romney, chances are you'll be on Martha's Vineyard during any given ten-day period, sucking sweet lobster cock with your fellow Stonecutters for $2,500 a plate.
Then there's Sarah Palin, recently seen edging out Casey Anthony as the most unpopular person in the United States of America, who quit her job as governor of Alaska to go on one long, uninterrupted vacation forever, calling Obama's trip "very tone deaf." She notes that she wouldn't go on vacation if she were president, which she isn't and never will be, "especially to Martha's Vineyard." Yeah, at least go to Cowshit Fried Butter Gun Grizzly Bear McPoor RV Island or whatever if you're going to take a trip, pal.
Some other Republicans are pretending to be furious about this trip too, the end.
[Photos of Obama at the airport before his flight to Martha's Vineyard this afternoon via AP]