Rick Perry Wants to Execute the Chairman of the Fed
Elaborate political satire "Rick Perry" (played by Josh Brolin) hasn't executed an innocent man in at least a few months. But he's got his eye on someone: Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke!
Perry, who may or may not have been carrying a gun around the Iowa state fair all day (never know when you might run into a communist, or a union organizer, or a coyote), told a crowd of voters that he didn't think much of this "Ben Bernanke" and his money-printing ways:
"If this guy prints more money between now and the election, I dunno what y'all would do to him in Iowa but we would treat him pretty ugly down in Texas. Printing more money to play politics at this particular time in American history is almost treasonous in my opinion."
Ha. Where do you even start, with this one? You sort of get the sense that Rick Perry thinks that Ben Bernanke, hands stained with ink, is actually somewhere in the basement of the Eccles Building, printing the money himself on the orders of George Soros. And then, I guess, giving all the money to Barack Obama's re-election campaign? Or the Black Panthers or something?
But, no, Bernanke is setting monetary policy, which is not "playing politics" but is actually, like, his job, that he was appointed to do—by a Republican!—and not even remotely treasonous, "at this particular time" (when a black guy is president?) or at some other particular time. His choices are maybe wrong, or right, or smart, or stupid. But not "almost treasonous." Unless... loose monetary policy is now treasonous? Someone seize Alan Greenspan before he can return to his Kenyan puppetmasters!