The fall premiere of beloved rape variety hour Law & Order: SVU will be based on Dominique Strauss-Kahn's hotel maid rape case, TV Guide reports.

But in the TV version, DSK will be Italian instead of French, and played by Franco Nero. (Previous ripped-from-the-headlines roles include Gianni Versace in The Versace Murder, Rudolph Valentino in The Legend of Valentino, and Abel in The Bible. Since the Bible is the Living Word of God, it counts as "news.") No word who will play the victim(s). [TVGuide, Images of Nero (left) and Strauss-Kahn via Getty]