Perhaps the only thing worse than discovering spiders hiding in your Domino's pizza is biting down on your Pizza Hut pizza and finding a Band-Aid caked with dried blood in your mouth. Of course, the latter could never happen, right?

It just defies common sense that America's foremost purveyor of pizza products for appropriately-dressed heterosexuals could ever produce something that was not only imperfect, but maligned by something as disgusting as a bloody bandage. Come on now.

Yet Ballston Lake, N.Y., resident Ken Wieczerza says that on June 9, he bit into a piece of his meaty large supreme Pizza Hut pizza, started chewing on something plasticky, pulled it out of his mouth, and saw that the foreign object was a bloody blue Band-Aid. He put the Band-Aid and the slice into a plastic bag placed it in his freezer as evidence, and called up Pizza Hut to ask them to cover some blood testing. He wanted "to make sure that whoever wore this bandage didn't have hepatitis or AIDS or some other disease," he says.

However, Pizza Hut stopped responding to his queries. Even though Wieczerza says he never showed the bandage or the pizza to anyone at the company, they just know that he's wrong:

A company spokesman told News 10 that they "take these matters very seriously and we are conducting a thorough investigation of the incident." The spokesman challenged the veracity of Wieczerza's account by saying that the bandage style and dough type were not consistent with Pizza Hut protocol.

We haven't seen Wierczerza's pizza or bandage in person either, but we're also pretty sure he's wrong. Pizza Hut doesn't even offer bloody Band-Aids as a topping. That's Domino's.

[Times Union, via Fark. Image by TheeErin/via Flickr]