Last we checked with Herman Cain, pizza magnate Republican presidential candidate, his campaign was falling apart amidst internal accusations of "affairs, homosexuality and professional misconduct." But like a deep-dish phoenix rising from the ashes of a brick oven, Cain is back with a bold message: No mosques!

Americans, holds Cain's unique interpretation of the constitution, have the right to prevent the construction of mosques in their community because "Islam combines church and state" and—apparently—is therefore not subject to the same constitutional freedoms as other religions. So there you have it! No mosques in Tennessee! American Laws in American Courts! A pizza you can't refuse!