[There was a video here]

What do you do when a video of yourself acting like a huge jerk on a Metro-North train becomes the toast of the internet? Why, you hire a public relations firm, of course!

Indeed, "hire a PR company" should be your first step in any situation. You should be keeping one on retainer right now, in fact! You never know when you might be surreptitiously taped while mouthing off to a train conductor for no reason—which is why our old highly-educated friend is apparently seeking out the services of a crisis-management firm. The New York Daily News reports:

Our source passed along a letter that Raju sent to one firm seeking guidance in dealing with the media over the incident. "The public only knows the two minutes of my dispute that were shown on the video that went viral," she writes. "However, there was a lot more to the story than those two minutes.

"I can honestly say I feel raped by the Internet," Raju gripes, after claiming that she initially was advised "not to speak to the media" about the incident.

Of course there was a lot more to the story. The video leaves out the conductor getting on the intercom and asking everyone to be quiet, "especially those people who went to Harvard or Yale or are from Westport." That's the best part!