Rupert Murdoch has given his formal interview since his world started collapsing around him—to the Wall Street Journal, of course. We're sure it was a hard-hitting barrage of questions. The upshot: He thinks he's handled the crisis "extremely well in every way possible." Yes sir! I was just going to say that.

Other dispatches from Murdoch's age-addled, doughy mind: His son James, who oversaw a breathtaking six-year cover-up of News International's extensive criminality that included dispatching executives to lie to Parliament, "acted as fast as he could, the moment he could." Murdoch says he, too, was on the ball. "When I hear something going wrong, I insist on it being put right." But he has to "attend to a lot of details in a multi-billion company with thousands of employees," so cut him some slack if he lets his British holdings burn to the fucking ground!

Father and son are both slated to appear alongside former News of the World editor Rebekah Brooks next week before Parliament. We hear it's all hands on deck right now: New York Post editor Col Allen, PR man Steven Rubenstein, and even exiled prodigal son Lachlan Murdoch are all said to be in London attending to the crisis. It seems they're not doing much good.

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