Oh man, the Washington Post has caught hypocrite Michelle Obama red-handed, stuffing her hypocrite face with hypocrite hamburgers and shakes and fries at a diner. Why isn't she eating organic free-range slime and hippie grain dirt or whatever the hell she forces children to eat in school, hmm? Hypocrite. Fraud!

Why did the American people ever elect such a two-faced calorie vampire to be the president's wife?

First lady Michelle Obama ordered a whopper of a meal at the newly opened Washington diner Shake Shack during lunch on Monday.

A Washington Post journalist on the scene confirmed the first lady, who's made a cause out of child nutrition, ordered a ShackBurger, fries, chocolate shake and a Diet Coke while the street and sidewalk in front of the usually-packed Shake Shack were closed by security during her visit.

According to nutritional information on Shake Shack's Web site, the meal amounted to 1,700 calories.

And that's the updated version. The article already had to make an important tweak: "Update: We made a mistake in our original calculations. The calorie-count for the first lady's order was actually 1,700, not the 1,556 we originally reported. Our apologies." No sweat, sleuths! There's still enough quality public-interest journalism in this report to feed a small third world country. (Assuming Michelle Obama doesn't eat all of that too! Get it? Because she ate a hamburger and drank a chocolate drink yesterday?)

If Michelle Obama allows herself a junk food lunch every now and then as a treat, what does this hypocritical hypocrisy teach us about her "pet issues"? Only that they're made up. Exercise is secretly not a good thing. You should never eat fruits and vegetables. These are all myths, now.

Impeach her!