Everyone's getting a divorce! Literally, everyone, except for Kate Moss, who just got married. And Salma Hayek's not getting a divorce yet, but finding out her husband fathered Linda Evangelista's kid isn't going to make her marriage stronger. Yes! It's Saturday gossip.

  • Something must have been in the air on Friday (Canada Day?) because a bunch of high-profile divorces hit the news. Not only did Maria Shriver file for divorce from Arnold Schwarzenegger, but three other divorces were finalized the same day: Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds, Thomas Jane and Patricia Arquette, and George Lopez and Ann Serrano. You know what would be fun? If they all remarried each other! Wouldn't that be great? Or am I the only person who would like to see Arnold Schwarzenegger and George Lopez get married? [TMZ, People, TMZ, TMZ]
  • Speaking of wacky situation comedies I'm developing (Hollywood! Call me!): It turns out that Salma Hayek's rich French husband François-Henri Pinault fathered Linda Evangelista's kid right around the same time he started dating Hayek! If you think this is going to cause trouble, well, "[n]o one was married," a source tells People, so "[t]here was no infidelity." [People]
  • "For every four celebrity divorces, there is one celebrity wedding," according to the Bible, and like everything else in the Bible, it's true. Kate Moss was married yesterday, to a guy from a band that no one cares about. She wore a John Galliano-designed dress/SS uniform, and had 14 bridesmaids. [NYDN]

And, look, even with the loss of the four most important celebrity couples of all time, romance still exists: Michael Sheen and Rachel McAdams were spotted being really gross and make-out-y in the Toronto subway. (See photo.) And! Evan Rachel Wood is back together with Jamie Bell, probably because they were sick of having matching tattoos but not dating. [TwitPic, NYDN]