Did Mary-Kate hook up with Kanye on his birthday? Does Jennifer Lopez bathe in the black magic blood of Santeria chickens? Does Kim Kardashian need a decoy engagement ring? Did LeAnn Rimes make a sex tape? Friday gossip has questions.

  • Apparently Kanye West "hooked up" with Mary-Kate Olsen on his 34th birthday at a club in New York. She doesn't seem like his "type," but people do all kinds of weird things on their birthdays, like too many tequila shots and, um, Olsen twins. Kanye West strikes me as the kind of guy who would start his midlife crisis a decade or two early, so maybe he wanted a jumpstart on dating random blondes? On the other hand, Kanye and M-K have a lot in common, like oversized sunglasses and a love of fur coats. [Perez Hilton, images via Getty]
  • Kim Kardashian commissioned a jeweler to make a cubic zirconia decoy ring, because at 20.5 carats, her actual engagement ring is worth enough to feed, clothe, and shelter several dozen nuclear families above poverty level. [Radar]
  • Speaking of Kim, here's sister Khloe on the NFL player who says Kim cheated with him: "This person is crazy." [E!]
  • Speaking of sex scandals, a sex tape LeAnn Rimes supposedly made with her ex is forthcoming. "The supposed illicit footage was found in a moving truck." Found in a moving truck because it got left behind? Or found in a moving truck because someone realized LeAnn Rimes' personal possessions were there, unguarded, and broke in and rifled through in search of sex tapes? Not that it necessarily matters: LeAnn's publicist says she has "absolutely never filmed a video having sex," so this video is a fake. [NYDN]
  • Speaking of exes, Jennifer Lopez's dirtbag ex Ojani Noa says J.Lo practiced Santeria with him: "We participated together in sacrifices of chickens and hens, and in one occasion, I was present when they were cleansing Jennifer with the blood of a hen." Nothing Ojani says is to be trusted, but damn, do I wish this one was true. [Enquirer via Celebitchy]
  • Matt Damon and Jon Krasinski went to a gas station that also sells guitars and guns together. Lest you doubt that a store exists, there are pictures. Matt is taking it seriously. Krasinski is stifling laughter. [TMZ]
  • Prince Harry is not getting married "for a long time." [Us]

Prince William and Princess Kate did their first red carpet event as a married couple. Well, the carpet was technically a really ugly shade of purple, but it was exciting on principle. [Celebitchy, image via Getty]

  • Tony Parker's mother apparently crashed an Eva Longoria book signing: "Pamela Firestone was seen sobbing as she rushed to get counter space so she could handwrite a letter to her ex daughter-in-law. She then handed it to the actress before walking out of the store." Can't decide if this is nutty, heartbreaking, or both. [RumorFix]
  • Filming an episode of Real Housewives of New York in Morocco, Ramona Singer "stepped out in a full burqa, then danced while necking glasses of Pinot Grigio." Apparently all the other housewives freaked out, which impresses me, because I wasn't sure they'd even know what a burqa was. Anyway, apparently Ramona convinced Bravo to cut that scene from last night's episode. Too bad, would have gone viral. [P6]
  • Game of Thrones actor Peter Dinklage is expecting his first child with his theater actress/director wife. Mazel tov! [Us]