Time for some new and intriguing demographic information! You people love this shit. You often dream of making over $100K and buying all the latest fancy technology, don't you? Well, stop it. Those people are miserable.

Money can't buy you happiness—according to a new survey in Ad Age! Haha! Oh, the irony! But seriously, go live in the woods.

But technology, seemingly like everything else from the last decade, is viewed by the Affluents [people making $100K or more] as something of a mixed blessing. When we asked how their lives had changed over the past decade, "infused with technology" was the most widely cited answer. But equally telling are the phrases coming next on the list — "more complicated," "more stressful" and "focused on finding ways to do more with less." In contrast, fewer than half said their lives had become "more fun" or "easier."

The more money you get, the more gadgets you get, and the more harried you feel, and the more stressed you get, and the less happy you are. And besides toting around the iPhone and the iPad and the iPod, you also feel obligated to check email and Facebook and check in on FourSquare and check the Twitter and any time you do anything or read anything or hear anything or see anything, you also have to put that up on the Twitter, and then you have to "re-Tweet" everything that everyone else puts up on the Twitter, lest you be regarded as impolite, when it comes to marveling at the brilliance of the Twitters of friends and colleagues and acquaintances and people you don't know. More gadgets! More technology! More demands! Less free time! All of the hours of the day that you don't spend earning your $100K+ are consumed by a tidal wave of information and its various shiny delivery mechanisms! No peace! No rest! No time for contemplation! Plug in and never escape! Your means have trapped you in their seductive embrace! It's the curse of the Affluent in our modern age!

Technology is the new syphilis.

[Ad Age, photo via Shutterstock]