The underdog at the top put on his special rapture glasses and announced his campaign bid to 10,000—or was it 15,000?—of his closest friends in Atlanta, spreading the message of "shucky ducky" and showering the crowd with love. He also says he's that he's not running for "second," but fourth.

Ha! Just kidding, shucky ducks—he actually wants to win this presidential thing. He also hopes the GOP will retake the House and Senate, "because you and I do not want this nation to become just another mediocre nation." In other words, Herman Cain does not want America to become the Godfather's Pizza of countries—we can do better than that. We could be like Pizza Hut, the only pizza franchise good enough for America's swordswomen.

[Daily Caller, Politico]