Despite being home to the sexiest national park (Arches) and the sexiest salt water lake (Great Salt Lake), Utah doesn't want you to think of it as a sexy state. And so, in an attempt to make it easier for police to arrest prostitutes, the state has gone ahead and outlawed acting sexy altogether.

Two Utah escort services have filed a lawsuit against a new state law that broadens the legal definition of solicitation to include exposing genitals and touching yourself sexually, arguing that police can now arrest just about anyone who is acting in a sexy manner — like strippers or escorts. As attorney Andrew McCullough points out, "most girls who touch their breasts are not telling you they're open for sex."

Now, obviously, there are ways to act sexy without "touching yourself sexually." But this isn't the Victorian era! Basically the only way to find a husband or wife these days is to show up at a bar and aggressively touch yourself, sexually. Does Utah really want to make that illegal?