The Smoking Gun got its hands on Katy Perry's 45-page concert rider. Boy, does this little lady have some really big demands, including that her driver not try to talk to her, and no carnations ever!

Katy has very specific requirements about how her dressing room should be decorated, and even lists the style of the table ("perspex modern style" whatever that means), chairs (white egg, one with a footstool), and wall colorings (cream or soft pink). But what she really has opinions about are the flower arrangements.

As for the dressing room's flower arrangement, Perry wants "White and purple hydrangeas, pink & white roses and peonies." If those flowers are not available, Perry will settle for a "selection of seasonal white flowers to include white orchids." However, promoters are advised, "ABSOLUTELY NO CARNATIONS." That warning is, of course, underlined.

It's not only underlined but should be said in your best Mommie Dearest voice.

Perry also has some requirements of her driver, and offers 22 instruction points on how he should behave, including no talking to her, her guests, or her fans, and certainly no looking at her or asking for autographs. He is the help, after all!

Most shadily, Perry's personal manager reserves the right to withhold a block of tickets and pocket the proceeds once they've been sold by resellers on the "secondary market." Yeah, she wants to make some bank from StubHub, too! But why look into what might be a questionable business practice when we can just bitch about how crazy she is for making sure everyone on her crew gets their own special drinking bottle? That's way more fun.

[TSG, image via Getty]