The villainous Recording Industry Association of America, which loves to sue children for millions of dollars for downloading songs that deprived wealthy entertainers of a penny: what is their latest outrage? Pissing on the U.S. Constitution, naturally.

In California, the RIAA is lobbying for a bill that would "allow warrantless searches of companies that press copies of compact discs and DVDs." Because such companies are such a grave threat to American security that hey, who cares about that old "search and seizure" bullshit? Justin Bieber's royalties are at stake.

"I can understand why this makes people nervous," said Laurie Levenson, a law professor at Loyola Law School of Los Angeles. "We have the 4th Amendment that generally requires probable cause [for a search]. This is a huge exception."

I'll give you probably cause: someone is fucking with the Sony Corporation's profits, motherfuckers. Face down on the fucking floor until you show me the Best Buy receipt for that Matchbox 20 CD. The RIAA will dump your fucking body in a ditch, thieving teenagers. You don't know who you're fucking with.