Hosni Mubarak, the deposed President of Egypt, will reportedly apologize — and "plead for amnesty" — in a televised statement. Apologize, you may be wondering, for what? Good question! "[F]or for any offense caused to the people," apparently. But, look, all of that nonspecific "offense" isn't really even his fault! See, he's also going to apologize "for any behavior which may have stemmed from false information passed on to him by his advisers." Advisers are notoriously untrustworthy!

Either way, Mubarak is apparently trying to negotiate an amnesty deal. He's "ready to hand over his assets to the state," and his wife Suzanne has already given up $3 million, saying that's all she has (a dubious claim at best). Even if amnesty is attainable for Mubarak, it seems unlikely to be in the cards for his sons Alaa and Gamal, currently in a Cairo prison. Maybe they had advisers passing on false information, too?