Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP garden plan raises eyebrows. Leo and Bar Rafaeli break up. Lindsay Lohan's probation report says she was secretly drunk this whole time. Thursday gossip catches Miley Cyrus' attention.

  • Gwyneth Paltrow put an annotated map of her garden in GOOP, and noted the presence of "salvia." So everyone was like Whaaaa?!, followed by, This explains a lot. But it turns out salvia officinalis is sage, a delicious herb that Gwyneth discusses in her newsletter. To learn about the significantly more interesting salvia divinorum, you have to read MOOP, Miley Cyrus' newsletter about where to get organic hair extensions and macrobiotic fair trade leather bustiers. [GOOP, NYDN,images via Getty and]
  • Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli have reportedly broken up. The reason: "They just grew apart and went their separate ways." Anti-climactic, but pretty normal. Somewhere, the hard-hearted Bubbe Mafia is celebrating. [P6, People, TheFamous]
  • Psyche! Lindsay Lohan was drunk this whole time, according to a just-released probation report. Apparently LiLo failed a random alcohol test after leaving rehab, and police investigators found witnesses who said she drank on the night she fought with a Betty Ford employee who went on to press—then drop—assault charges. "The probation officer believes that substance abuse is the root of the defendant's problem," the report read, but the judge disagreed and ordered her to undergo psychological counseling instead of substance abuse stuff. [People, TMZ]
  • Angelina Jolie confirmed that her new coordinate tattoo contains the latitude and longitude for Brad Pitt's birthplace in Shawnee, Oklahoma. [Extra]

27-year-old Lizzy Jagger, daughter of Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall, posed for Playboy, which blurbed her pictorial "Satisfaction! Between the sheets with Mick's daughter." Seeing your sexy lyrics applied to your naked daughters must be one of the more irksome parts of being an aging rock star. [NYDN]

  • Someone stole 21,000 bottles of vodka from Dan Aykroyd, who has a vodka company that sells liquor in skull-shaped bottles. He's "sorry to lose this much vodka to theft" but "happy that some consumers will be afforded the opportunity of tasting it at significantly lower than retail price." An unusually charitable reaction to grand theft. [TMZ]
  • Professional berater of fat people Jillian Michaels is adopting a child from the Congo. [People]
  • Ivana Trump secretly wishes The Donald would quit his stupid presidential charade, because all the "scrutiny" is messing up her life. (As opposed to the scrutiny associated with having a TV show called Ivana Young Man. That scrutiny is fine.) Is Donald even doing the political thing anymore? I was under the impression he was already scaling back down, because he finally realized he is a laughingstock. [Gatecrasher]
  • Lady Gaga tells V she had "50 racks of couture" on the set of her "Judas" music video, but ended up wearing panties most of the time, anyway. The Lacroix wedding gown was pretty awesome, though. [People]
  • Mary Tyler Moore is having brain surgery to remove a benign tumor from the lining tissue of her brain. Her rep says it's a "fairly routine procedure." Get well soon. [People]