Kids these days just don't have the good attitude they used to. I believe the relentless diet of drugs, junk food, and pornography is really getting to them.

Used to be that no matter how much hopelessness you shoveled at youngsters, they'd just shake it off and come right back to win a World War or gain civil rights for minorities or whatever. They knew things would get better! It was the idiocy of youth played for the benefit of society as a whole.

Not any more, though. For the first time in nearly 30 years, kids these days think things are only getting worse. In a new poll, only 44% of The Youth said that they think it's likely that they'll have a better life than their parents. That's the first time the percentage has ever dipped below 50%. Hell, it was over 70% just a decade ago!

Moving to Austin was just a temporary balm, kids. No kitschy rubber bracelet or fancy haircut can distract you and your peers from the undeniable truth: you're screwed.

[Economix, photo via Shutterstock]