A Pennsylvania woman found a five-pound package of marijuana on her doorstep this week. The same thing happened to a nearby elderly couple. What should you do if you receive a large package of weed? Let us help you.

As Gothamist rightly points out, the unbidden-parcels-of-pot thing is now, officially, a trend: Not only did it happen to those folks in Pennsylvania, but a dentist's office in New York City received 31 pounds of marijuana last month.

"In this day and age you don't know what's arriving in the mail.. It could be a bomb, it could be drugs, it could be legit, you just don't know," Upper Darby Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood told the local Fox affiliate. Indeed! It could be legit, yes, if you are expecting a package, maybe it won't be a bomb or drugs.

But let's be honest, it's most likely a bomb, or drugs. And this could happen to you, at literally any moment. Do you hear the doorbell? That is probably your huge weed box, right now. But follow our step-by-step guide, and it will work out:

  • 1. Don't call the police.
  • 2. Reseal the package.
  • 3. Email me.

Don't worry! I'll handle the rest.

[Delaware County Times; Gothamist]