In your fine Friday media column: the White House press office bitches about petty things, Bloomberg View and Grantland reveal their rosters, the WSJ gets a new money editor, and the media's Royal Wedding conundrum is unsolvable.

  • The bitches at the White House press office, who ostensibly have real things to worry about, got upset with the San Francisco Chronicle and threatened to freeze it out of White House events because the paper "posted a video of a protest at a San Francisco fundraiser for President Obama last week." How dare a newspaper expose the public to news? Now people will think everyone in San Francisco doesn't love Obama. What kind of message does that send? "The White House press office would not speak on the record about the issue." Jesus. Covering the White House is suicide-inducing.
  • The long-awaited (?) and well-financed (definitely) roster of Bloomberg View columnists is finally revealed: Michael Kinsley! Jeffrey Goldberg! Ezra Klein! William Cohan! And a bunch of academics! It's the most acceptable roster of establishmentarian establishment-discussers assembled since the last Washington Post editorial board meeting!
  • There is also new information about the long-awaited and well-financed sportswriting startup site by "Sports Guy" Bill Simmons! It is called Deadspin has a fascinating bit of backstory about how Grantland is in the process of poaching Tommy Craggs, from Deadspin. The site will feature Chuck Klosterman and Malcolm Gladwell and Dave Eggers and, far more importantly, former Deadspinner Katie Baker and Gawker friend Patrice Evans, a.k.a. The Assimilated Negro. A formidable roster, indeed.
  • Francesco Guerrera is the new money and investing editor of the WSJ. He was formerly the finance editor of the FT. All the important people already know who he is. Don't worry.
  • Media scientists have determined that, sadly, lengthy stories about how stupid the Royal Wedding is are still part of the problem. Sorry.