The ridicule heaped on Scott Adams after being caught using a pseudonym to defend himself on message boards has left an indelible impact on the Dilbert cartoonist. He is now a defender of all famous people from the internet's smears. Let him explain why a black woman blogger has no right to criticize Gwyneth Paltrow's privilege, because she's a black woman.

Huffington Post blogger Keli Goff wrote a column slamming Gwyneth Paltrow's suggestion that "everything in my life that's good is because I worked my ass off to get it and to maintain it." Goff noted, correctly, that a large part of what's good Gwyneth Paltrow's life comes from the fact that she was born with a brace of silver spoons in her perfectly-shaped mouth and calls Steven Spielberg "Uncle Steven."

Writing on his blog, Adams feels that Keli Goff is wrong to attack Gwyneth Paltrow, because her column lacks "context." In the guise of "adding context"—douchebag pig latin for: "Now I am going to reveal my deeply-held douchebag beliefs"—Adams writes:

It's worth noting, in the interest of context, that Goff was born with a few advantages herself. She's beautiful, smart, and apparently had the resources she needed to make it through NYU and go on to get her Master's Degree at Columbia University. If you ask Goff what made her successful, would she credit her hard work and leave out her other obvious advantages? Or would she answer honestly and say, "I worked hard for what I've achieved, but it didn't hurt that I'm a brilliant, smoking-hot African-American woman in 2011." I'm just saying that people don't generally talk about their advantages. To do so would be...wait for it…gloating.

It is pretty rich, that Keli Goff would dare criticize Gwyneth "My Parents' BFF Steven Spielberg Put Me In My First Movie" Paltrow without attaching an asterisk to her own byline that discloses how being a "smoking-hot" black woman got Columbia to automatically award her a master's degree.

Here is some context: Scott Adams, remember, defended the Republican official who photoshopped Obama's face on a chimp head as "so non-racist." This guy is like if every College Republican chapter president in the world and the most insufferable students in your undergraduate philosophy class, plus fifty-thousand copies of Atlas Shrugged, combined into a voltron and started a blog.


Dilbert Creator Pretends to Be His Own Biggest Fan on Message Boards
Dilbert Creator: It's Your Fault I Pretended to Be My Own Fan on Message Boards

[Photo of Paltrow via Getty, photo of Adams via AP]