Not twelve hours after its announcement and serious, damaging questions are already being raised about the campaign of former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney. Specifically: Did Romney steal Aquafresh's nurdle?
As you no doubt know, a nurdle is (in the words of our own Hamilton Nolan) "that hypnotizing wave-shaped squirt of multicolored toothpaste that appears on toothpaste packages." It is an important aspect of your toothpaste/presidential brand because, according to the nurdle experts at the Wall Street Journal, "the oral care aisle is so crowded." Proprietary nurdles are jealously guarded under threat of lawsuit.
Colgate learned this the hard way last year, when they were slapped with a multimillion-dollar nurdle suit by Aquafresh. Indeed, the question in this case is not if Aquafresh will sue Romney over his blatant nurdle-theft, but when, and for how much money. Our guess: Tomorrow, and a million billion dollars. Romney needs solve this nurdle problem fast—or his campaign will be over before it even begins.