Why isn't there life on Mars? Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez has a theory! "I have always said, heard... it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived... and finished off the planet." Hmm.

Chavez made his (joking?) remarks in honor of World Water Day, naturally. ("He added that the West's attacks on Libya were about water and oil reserves," Reuters tells us.) But we agree: Capitalism probably did destroy life on Mars. Sigh! Guess we'll have to add it to the Big List Of Stuff That Capitalism Ruined, right between "the experience of the sacred" and "sex."