We've been talking a lot about fucksaws recently! Sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly. Like when Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is referred to as "a human fucksaw." This prompted a commenter to wonder if we maybe had stock in the fucksaw and stood to gain from its mention. (We don't, sadly.) This question opened the door for some charming legalese/business-type speculation.

From jbwan:

I'm more concerned about a Fucksaw a tender offer...

1) Active and widespread solicitation- YES. always need to be spread wide during solicitation

2) The solicitation is made for a substantial percentage of issuer stock. _ must be able to take a substantial percentage of issuer cock

3) Premium over the prevailing market price- most fucksaw users probably charge more.

4) Terms of the offer are firm rather than negotiable. - the fucksaw is always firm

5) Whether offer is contingent on the tender of a number of fixed shares - no. the more the merrier

6) Whether the offer is open for a limited period of time - allows people to not be limited during their period time

7) Whether offerees are subjected to pressure to sell the stock. - Yes. definitely under a lot of extra pressure when using one.

Now, I'm no legal eagle or Betty Business, but I still laughed! Mostly because I can't stop laughing at the word "fucksaw." There's something so... blunt and utilitarian about it. The humor is in its simplicity, I suppose.