It must suck so bad to go to one of these allegedly prestigious military service academies. Besides being hazed by crewcut goons and receiving a trip to Iraq as a graduation present, you can't even smoke real ganja. So weak.

The Washington Post says that, due to mandatory piss tests there at the academy, desperate be-uniformed underclassmen have all been reduced to smoking "synthetic herbal potpourri sprayed with chemicals." It really gets you high, according to kids who can't smoke real weed! Unless those chemicals are PCP, that is so not hardcore. Is this what we want for our supposedly badass military?

Navy investigators seized a sheet of notebook paper, later leaked to the Navy Times, that laid out an apparent plan for a synthetic marijuana ring. Handwritten notes listed 18 potential customers and designs for the off-campus party house to be outfitted with a lava lamp, big-screen TV, "stocked fridge," dance floor, strobe lights and a "giant bong."

Our nation's warrior-statesman of the future are dorks. Alarming.

[WaPo; photo via AP]