Paris Hilton's birthday gift cost more than your house. Charlie Sheen lectures Lindsay Lohan on "impulse control." Jessica Alba is pregnant again. Thursday gossip likes the cars that go boom.

  • Paris Hilton drug buddy and moneybags boyfriend Cy Waits gave her a $375,000 Lexus LFA for her 30th birthday. The smaller the car's interior, the more potent the hotboxing? Apparently the microphone pack Paris wears in these pictures is for her new reality show for the Oxygen network. (So did Cy buy the car, or did Oxygen just rent it for a photo op?) Hopefully it will be a gritty documentary where the street-wise Paris teaches the fine art of smuggling drugs across international borders. Admit it: The girl's got talent. [TMZ, image via WENN]
  • Jessica Alba has another bun in her oven, courtesy of husband Cash Warren. She announced it on Facebook: "It's been a while since I've been on FB & I thought I'd drop by to let you all in on some exciting news>Honor is going to be a Big Sister!" Now everyone is scrutinizing recent pictures for a "baby bump," and can I just note that "baby bump" is a fairly gross phrase? Like "lymph node," "mucous membrane," and "pustule," it has always made me skin crawl just a bit. [Facebook, Us, HuffPost]
  • Charlie Sheen has replaced his cocaine and hooker addiction with an addiction to calling in to talk radio shows. An affliction mostly commonly seen in geriatric cat ladies, symptoms include calling The Dan Patrick Show to whine about your boss and to give advice to Lindsay Lohan: "Work on your impulse control... just try and think things through a little bit before you do them." [Star]
  • Speaking of Paris, she and Kim Kardashian are friends again. They ran into each other at a Grammy's after-party, and Paris "apologized and said she didn't want to fight." Not until she sees how much worse her TV show does in the ratings, at least. [Us, E!]
  • Angelina is engaged! Hah, you thought I was talking about Brangelina, but actually I'm talking about Angelina Pivarnick, the one who is still kicking herself for quitting Jersey Shore. Mazel tov, Trash Bags. [People]
  • Halle Berry won the "latest round" in her "custody war" because she got permission to take her toddler across the country to shoot a movie. Now Gabriel Aubry appears to be walking back his custody claims: Radar reports that he filed a motion to drop his fight for joint custody and dismiss his request for child support. [TMZ, Radar]
  • Michelle Trachtenberg plays a stoner in her next movie, "and I don't know anything about the weed. Really, I know nothing about it. So I had to do a little research." Ah, yes. "Research." [Us]