Looks like the terrorists have finally won. The magazine war, that is! A new Tea Party magazine launches this weekend, and compared with al Qaeda's at-home terrorism magazine Inspire, it totally sucks.

Now, magazine publishing is not what we'd call a "growth industry," but being divorced from any kind of agreed-upon political reality is. So I'm not discounting Tea Party Review's chances for success out of hand. But look at some of the articles they plan on publishing:

  • Obama's War on the First Amendment… and the Rest of the Constitution
  • Why the Tea Party Movement is the Mainstream in American Politics
  • What They Don't Want You to Know about "Progressives"
  • The Top Ten Lies They Tell About Taxes
  • Goldman Sachs, BP, Enron: Is "Green Energy" the Scam of the Century?
  • Muslims versus the Ground Zero Mosque
  • Why the Elite Media Hate Us
  • Glenn Beck vs. the Communist Party: A Tale of Two Rallies
  • The Left's War on Science and Reason
  • How the Top Colleges Turn Kids into Stupid Leftists
  • The Tea Partiers vs. the Race Baiters

Really? I mean, I'm sure "Glenn Beck vs. the Communist Party" is fascinatingly loony, but none of this is even half as enticing (or servicey) as Inspire's "How to Make a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom" and "How to Make a Death Car." What do you want to read more—bitching about the elite media? Or advice on encrypting email from Inspire's "Open Source Jihad" column?

Don't get me wrong—I'm as excited for Tea Party Review as anyone can be for a magazine that seems sort of weirdly obsessed with black conservatives. But right now, I'd choose to subscribe to Inspire. Get your act together, Tea Party.

[via Wonkette]