Imagine: Your very own, handsomely embossed official Barack Obama birth certificate. It could soon be yours!! A bill introduced in the Hawaii state legislature would allow anyone to get a copy of the president's Hawaii birth records for just $100.

Now that Hawaii's governor, Neil Abercrombie, has officially confirmed the existence of Obama's birth records there, five Democrats have introduced the bill to "end skepticism over Obama's birthplace while raising a little money," according to the AP. It would change privacy laws to allow any American to get a copy of Obama's birth records, for a $100 processing fee.

This seems like an excellent idea; the perfect 78th birthday present for the xenophobic great uncle in your life. (However, requests for Obama's birth certificate have dropped to around zero-five per week, so it won't be much of a cash cow.)

But why not take it a step further? How much would you pay for Obama's high school transcript? Or a copy of Obama's tax return from the year of your birth? $150? $200? Well, it can all be yours for three easy payments of $19.99. Act now, and we'll throw in Joe Biden's 1994 application to be the mascot for the Wilmington Blue Rocks minor league baseball team absolutely free.