Girl Scout Cookies are an apt metaphor for our economy: it was working just fine. Then someone got the bright idea to hugely expand it. Then it collapsed. Soon, there will be just six kinds of Girl Scout cookies left.
As it stands, there are 11 varieties of Girl Scout cookies—a number that's ballooned to include things like word-bearing "Shout Outs," foreign phrase-embossed "Thanks-a-Lots," and other such foolishness. But now, in an effort to become a more streamlined moneymaking machine, the WSJ reports that the mafialike tween social club is testing a plan to cut their stock down to just six varieties. If it succeeds, here's what you'll have left:
Lovers of the chocolaty Thin Mints, crunchy peanut-buttery Do-Si-Dos and buttery Trefoils shortbread don't need to fret. The Girl Scouts governing body has told the two commercial bakers the scouts deal with that they must produce those three every year. Likewise, Samoas (called Caramel deLites in some parts of the country) and Lemon Chalet Cremes will also have a place in the pantry this year. So, too, Tagalongs (also known as Peanut Butter Patties)
Can you get by with just six different kinds of hand-peddled cookie, America? You sicken me.