The Way We Live Now: scrimping and saving. To get into Davos! Davos ain't cheap, you know. They don't let just anyone into Davos. Only the big shots make it to Davos. Do I know you from Davos? Oh, sorry.

Did you know that it's time for Davos? Ha, that's a trick question. Because if you answered "no," I wouldn't even bother dedicating the brainpower to processing your answer, so I wouldn't even know what your answer was. So I'll assume that yes, you do know that it's time for Davos. But before we can go to Davos and network with fellow movers and shakers to accomplish real solutions with dynamic strategies in the 21st century, we must get to Davos. And getting to Davos ain't cheap, literally or figuratively. Literally, just going and getting a decent ticket and eating on the cheap will set you back about $200K. And figuratively, because when you come back you're such a prick for a week or two afterwards.

"Did you read my blog about Davos? No. Let me tell you all about it. It was amazing. There I was, standing among the New Global Elite. I turned to Arianna and said, 'Where's John Cassidy? Is he trying to do the I-didn't-want-to-go-anyhow act this year, haha?' Arianna said something I couldn't understand, because of the accent. But I think she said 'There are 69 billionaires here and you aren't one of them, darling.' I didn't see her any more after that."

"It seems like the whole trip was a whirlwind. I was making deals with the Chinese! I was dodging adorable chanting anarchists! I felt like it was the Middle Ages all over again, and we were the kings—of Davos! Really sorry you couldn't make it, pal. Next year, huh?

And meanwhile most people are like, "Can I get some corn?"

[Photo: Getty]