Martha Stewart looooves her dogs. But do they secretly resent her? When she bent down to whisper goodbye to her bulldog Francesca, the dog jumped up and split her lip, sending Martha to the hospital. There, she criticized the wallpaper.

In a blog post, Stewart is at pains to show that Francesca did not bite her Tuesday night as she left the house for the evening. Instead, Martha says she was in the wrong:

As I leaned down to whisper goodbye to a dozing Francesca, I must have startled her, because she bolted upright with such force that she hit me in the face like a boxing glove hitting an opponent's face. I was entirely startled and my neck snapped back. I felt a bit of whiplash as blood gushed forth from my split lip. Frannie was as upset as I was and cowered in her bed.

"Cowering"? Or secretly plotting her next attack?

Martha then had to get three stitches, and even as she lay in pain in Northern Westchester Hospital her famous taste asserted itself:

We would send Martha a get well card, but we're worried it wouldn't be aesthetically pleasing enough for her.