Jersey Shore's Snooki has hired a firm to slap her name on every sort of product imaginable. And she's applying for trademarks on a variety of her catchphrases, too. The Snooki onslaught is coming—and it's scary!

The little orange ball of fun has signed with a company to help her launch lines of fuzzy slippers, sparkly (fake) jewelry, and sunglasses—all things that we associate with the beach-loving reality star. (If there was a way to sell punches to the face, she'd probably have a Snooki™ Punch on the shelves already.)

She's also applied for trademarks on a number of terms and potential future brand names, including "I Snook the Night," "Snookalike," "Team Meatball," "Snookit," "Snookin for Love," and, most mysteriously, "Nicole Polizzi."

And she has big plans for all of those little brands! Here are some of the products she hopes to branch into in the future:

  • Perfume, false eyelashes, false hair, artificial nails, cosmetics, make up,nail grooming products, namely tips, glue, lacquer and glitter, nail polish, suncare lotion, sun screen; personal care products
  • Jewelry; watches
  • Handbags, purses, wallets
  • Clothing for men, women and children, namely shirts, underwear, hooded sweatshirts, sweatpants, sweatshirts, track suits, swimsuits, gloves hosiery, socks, sleepwear, pajamas, coats, jackets, dresses; headwear; headbands; hats; footwear; shoes, gloves
  • Hair shampoo, Hair conditioner, Hair styling gel, hair spray; self tanner tanning spray
  • Hair accessories and hair ornaments, namely, hair ties, hair clips, and hair bumps
  • Shot glasses, cups
  • Printed matter, namely, books in the fields of entertainment, variety, news, and comedy
  • Entertainment, namely, a continuing variety, news and comedy show broadcast over television and radio; television show production

She also has a trademark on the name "Snooki." Maybe that's why she'd like us all to call her Nicole now—Snooki's a brand, not a person. Previously she'd been denied a trademark on "Snooki" in connection with publishing books, since a cartoon cat had already been using the name. But now she wants to have it protected for "entertainment in the nature of personal appearances by a television personality."

Hide your wallets, America, because the cash-grabbing monster known as Snooki is coming for them. Her trademark applications are below. Click on any page to expand.