According to stats compiled by the New York Post, there were 121 disciplinary drug busts at uptown nerdfest Columbia last year, compared to 610 at artfag haven NYU. Do NYU kids do more drugs? Possibly. Or, security are just dicks.

Either way, neither Columbia or NYU druggies are likely to get in any actual legal trouble. Very few of the drug infractions at both schools were reported to police:

The lower 2010 figures at both universities, as compared with 2009, are due to a different method of reporting. The schools no longer include drug busts made by cops called to a location for a different crime.

The statistics are no surprise to a former NYU security officer, who said he was told to call a supervisor before calling cops.

He said he was clearly warned: "Never call the police unless it's a life-and-death situation."

Aha! So they're trying to juke the stats as it were, only in the opposite direction of The Wire's arrest-hungry cops. So there's no exact number on how many NYU or Columbia kids mixed it up with the NYPD, but as far as their school's police departments go, NYU seems to be cracking a lot more skulls than Columbia.

I mean, the far higher number of offenses can't just be that NYU kids are simply doing more drugs, more brazenly, can it? Hm, what's that? Yes it absolutely can be, because NYU kids are cocky little shits who collectively do enough drugs to take down a single Bard senior? (That's a lot of drugs.) Hm, OK then. Columbia, get on this! Don't let those downtown bobos out-cool you! Or, keep secretly doing all the drugs and thank your campus security for being bros.

[via Daily Intel, image via Shutterstock]