Is Bristol headed for the classroom? The woman who claimed Lindsay Lohan assaulted her is now the one in trouble. A bunch of celebrities are in nice places for the holidays. Let's open this stuffed stocking of a Gossip Roundup.

  • Bristol Palin may be going to college: She just bought a $172,000 home in Arizona and looks set on Arizona State University, which notably snubbed Obama by not giving him an honorary degree when he spoke there last year. Bristol probably picked this school because of its top-ranked Reality Television Studies program. Students can participate in a reality show abroad for a semester, and you get class credit for being on Dancing with the Stars, even if you lose. (ASU's Reality Television Museum is also one of the top in the nation, home to the embalmed bodies of the castmembers of the first four seasons of The Real World.) Wow, Bristol Palin: The College Years! This is going to be the best Palin reality show yet. [TMZ]
  • Dawn Holland, The Betty Ford clinic staffer who accused Lindsay Lohan of assaulting her is now the one in trouble: A federal investigation has been launched into whether she violated health privacy laws by selling information about Lindsay to TMZ for at least $10,000. Radar reports TMZ might be on the hook for paying for confidential medical information, too. But they would say that. Man, if you want to sell your celebrity clients out, you should really be working at a restaurant or something—there has yet to be a federal investigation into someone snitching on Gwyneth Paltrow's weird eating habits. [Radar]
  • Snoop Dogg's famous yellow low-rider was impounded after he let a buddy drive it on a suspended license. (It wasn't Larry King, unfortunately.) OK, how many drugs were in there and where were they hidden so the cops didn't find them? [TMZ]
  • Usher was spotted Christmas shopping in Soho for clothes for his protege Justin Bieber, asking salespeople about his size and everything. Seems sort of unfair that Usher gets to fulfill the dream of every 13-year-old girl in the world. [P6]
  • Octo-mom Nadya Suleman is going to get evicted in January. The guy who loaned her money to buy her house says she still owes him $450,000, and she has until December 31st to pay up. [Radar]
  • T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump's husband, Robert Kovacik, was getting the crap beaten out of him. The two were at the Polo Lounge when a drunk guy next to them started taunting Lisa, and before yo know it he'd cold-cocked Kovacick, who is now filing criminal charges against him. Bravo must have been soooo pissed their cameras weren't there. Next season they should include in the Housewives contract that they get a 50% cut of any drama that happens off-screen. [TMZ, TMZ]
  • While you and I languish in the cold, famous people are going to tropical islands. Derek Jeter, Minka Kelly, Michael Jordan and 50 Cent are all at the same hotel in Anguilla. Mick Jagger and L'Wren Scott are hanging out on the exclusive Caribbean island Mustique. Just remember: Their bodies may be warm, but their souls are ice cold. [P6]
  • Big Love star Ginnifer Goodwin is engaged to boyfriend Joey Kern. [People]
  • Halle Berry says she has low self-esteem: "I think I've spent my adult life dealing with the sense of low self-esteem that sort of implanted in me. Somehow I felt not worthy." [P6]