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Barbara Walters gave a preview of her interview with Oprah Winfrey today, and was kind enough to give us the moment we've all been waiting for: A direct discussion of Oprah's gay-seeming relationship with Gayle King. It made her cry.

On one hand, crying at the very mention of the best friend you swear is not your closeted lover is odd. On the other, constantly being accused of having sex with someone you're not having sex with sure sounds frustrating, and the sentence "she's the mother I never had" is making me a little teary, and—oh, crap. I've been sucked into the Oprah Winfrey zone of infinite weeping, a softly lit universe where estrogen is always surging and every voice is at the edge of tears. To watch Oprah is to become one with her audience's cheesecake cravings! Time to go clang my head against the exhaust pipe of a monster truck until the feeling passes.