Higher learning's most charming rivalry, between dusty old fart-factories Yale and Harvard, always heats up this time of year, but rarely this badly. In a timely response to Yale: The Musical, some Harvard kids made a parody. A bad one.

The bad parts? Well, the kids make a joke about Annie Le, the graduate student who was murdered by a staff lab tech last year, so that's pretty great. Then they go on to poke genial fun at New Haven's poverty and crime problems, suggesting the best thing to do is abandon and ignore impoverished urban wastelands, lest your parents' money be stolen from your wallet. Good work, guys.

OK, so let's just get this out there. Let's settle the Yale/Harvard rivalry once and for all. Guys, you're BOTH insufferable assholes, equally! Everyone else knows this. You're just absolutely the worst of the goddarn worst. Sure, Princeton students are unholy monsters, the Dartmouth kids are vaguely feral, and the less said about Brown students the better, but Harvard and Yale? You guys win every time. Every damn time. You are just the living worst. So this weekend, please take a moment from throwing loafers and Latino maids at each other to take a deep breath, look around, and say to yourselves "We are completely horrid, every single one of us."

Go team!

[Ivy Gate]