Are you familiar with the beloved holiday tale of how President Barack Obama destroyed Christmas with his union-boosting, New World Order-establishing, God-hating policies? No? Let's take a look at this Tea Party's christmas picture book, The Liberal Clause.

A writer from the Mercury, a Portland alt-weekly, picked up a copy of The Liberal Clause: Socialism on a Sleigh during a Tea Party election party last night. The book is written by former Washington Tea Party congressional candidate David Hedrick, who's known for yelling at Democrats and allegedly hitting his wife.

With simple sentences and colorful drawings that should appeal to four-year-olds and Tea Partiers alike, The Liberal Clause tells the story of how a small town is taken over by the Liberal Party of Elves and their leaders Elf Peloosi, Barry "Liberal Clause" Obama and his wife "Lichelle".

Here's the Liberal Clauses' victory speech. This may be Stalin's only appearance in Christmas-related literature, ever.

The Liberal Clause hangs out with Chariman Mao and the evil "Rev. Blight." (Hedrick skillfully uses the literary device of "changing a few letters of real people's names" to produce his powerful political satire.)

In addition to supporting lazy Elf unions who manufacture shoddy toys, the Liberal Clause sells the town to the greedy "Hineese," for a big sack of cash with which to buy himself a new sleigh:

Eventually, the story climaxes with the defeat of the Liberal Party of Elves at the hands of a "Christmastution"-waving Tea Party. Just like in real life!

We can't wait to see the Tea Party version of the Hanukkah Story, with the Tea Party Patriots playing the role of the Maccabees who fight evil Al Gore to keep him from replacing all their lamp oil with wind turbines. In the meantime, you can buy your own copy of The Liberal Clause for just $19.95 plus $4.95 shipping and handling. [Portland Mercury]