Goldie Hawn tells an awkward story about her daughter's birth. Beyonce might be pregnant. Jean-Claude Van Damme has a heart attack. J.Lo's babies are Gucci models. Wednesday gossip is a photo album of embarrassing baby pictures.

  • E!'s shocking headline: "Kate Hudson Was Born a Boy?!" Goldie Hawn retold the story of Kate's genitally confusing birth at a Hollywood banquet last night: "I had a C-section. Am I getting too intimate? I was lying there and they were slicing and dicing…[and] all of a sudden, out she comes and they say, 'It's a boy!' And I was lying there going, 'No, it's a girl!'… And I thought what part of her anatomy are you looking at to make a mistake like that?" Awkwardly draped umbilical cord? I learned two lessons from this story: 1.) Goldie is a really embarrassing mother. 2.) Headlines that contain false statements are okay if you add "?!" at the end. [E!, image via Getty]
  • Another day, another Beyonce pregnancy rumor. Us Weekly says it's real this time and wasn't planned: "B was shocked. She loves kids, but she wasn't ready to be a mother just yet. She really wanted to get her album done and tour the world again." [Us]
  • Does John Mayer "have his eyes set" on Kim Kardashian? If not, we can expect an enraged response on Mayer's Tumblr any minute now. [P6]
  • Jennifer Lopez twin babies landed their first designer modeling gig: They'll appear wearing Gucci with their mother in a forthcoming ad for the Italian fashion house. [WWD]
  • Jean-Claude Van Damme had a heart attack while filming action flick Weapon. He was "briefly admitted to a hospital" in New Orleans, then retired to Belgium with his wife where he is "expected to make a full recovery." [E!]

1968 Playboy Playmate of the year Angela Dorian (soft core porn name: Victoria Vetri) has been charged with attempted murder for shooting her boyfriend during a domestic dispute in their Hollywood home. She tried to blame it on a drug dealer. [TMZ]

  • To prepare for her role as a stripper in Welcome to the Rileys, Kristen Stewart did a New Orleans strip club tour and was "offered a job" at one. No word whether she took them up on it, but she definitely didn't do anal. [P6]
  • Meanwhile, Jodie Foster says she's "surprised" Kristen Stewart is still an actress. Kristen played Jodie's daughter in Panic Room, and "I felt like, nah, she won't [be an actress] because she really doesn't have the stereotypical personality." I can't decide if this is an underhanded attack, or a backhanded compliment. [E!]

Glee's Lea Michele, Dianna Agron, and Cory Monteith posed in their underwear for Terry Richardson and GQ. It's kind of sexy/awkward. [GQ]

  • Most hated man in America Jesse James is shutting down his Long Beach bike shop West Coast Choppers. He lives full-time in Texas, now, and will focus on his bike shop there. [TMZ]
  • Lindsay Lohan will be in court this Friday to beg not to go to jail for her failed drug test. Something to look forward to this week! [TMZ]