Look to your left; look to your right. One of the mild-mannered, college-educated people sitting next to you could be harboring a secret McRib Sandwich fetish. Generic machine-shaped pork product addicts are, reportedly, everywhere.
The WSJ today infiltrates the shadowy McRib underground, a loose national network of outwardly respectable Americans who spend their free time in search of the elusive McRib Sandwich, a once-prominent McDonald's menu item that's been mostly discontinued, due to—we imagine—a national shortage of pig anuses. One man, traveling in Nebraska, "bought six of the pork sandwiches, ate one right away at the restaurant, and carried the rest home to Burnsville, Minn., in an ice-packed cooler." Another, a university employee in New Jersey, "took a train to nearby New York City where a McDonald's reportedly was selling the McRib, only to leave empty-handed, and dejected."
Next month, McDonald's is bringing the McRib back, nationwide, for six weeks. Suckle those savory pressed amalgamated pork scrapings, America. You disgusting animals.