The Way We Live Now: looking to the East. The future is in China, friends. Everyone "in the know" knows it. American richies are favoring the Chinese with obsequious bows. Meanwhile, the Chinese rich are assholes, just like us.

Let me ask you a question. Just shut up. Let me ask you a question: if you were Warren Buffett and Bill Gates, what would you be doing in your free time? Supervising the training of your ninja prostitute bodyguard army, right? But in real life these guys are going over to Beijing, Chinatown, and trying to get all China's billionaires to give their money away—to charity. I mean, anything that helps to keep them from closing the ninja prostitute army gap, sure, but charity? Beijing? Summer vacation? Rich guys?

Pass the hundred dollar bills Jeeves, I have some cigars to light.

Excuse me, I was distracted by the overwhelming nature of great wealth. Allow me to give Mssrs. Buffett and Gates a little idea of what they will encounter in their journeys there, amongst the China Rich: jerks. Rich people are jerks. China has rich people now. Ergo, everyone hates China. China is the America of the East! They're walking in our name-brand shoes! We're natural allies! But still—rich, and jerky.

For us, this is quite convenient. We need all the scapegoats we can get. Wall Street is bracing for a new wave of layoffs. Our nation's houses have become infested by bears. We're still paying for stadiums that teams have already abandoned. Anything that will get our mind off off the general widening of the gap between rich and poor in America which will inevitably lead to fire and bloodshed and not in a good way for you rich motherfuckers is welcome.

Look, it's China! Get 'em!

[Pic: "Chinese entrepreneur Huang Qiaoling (34th on Forbes' list of rich people in China) had a replica of the White House built in his garden."]