A guy tried to pass off two $1 million U.S. bills at the UAE's Central bank. Hey, if you're going to be a terrible counterfeiter, you might as well be a cartoonishly incompetent one.

According to the AP, the suspect, from the Ivory Coast, tried to persuade a Central Bank employee she would get 30% of the money if she took the bills. Pretty audacious, considering this is what the bills looked like: "The phony notes feature the $1 portrait of George Washington and are mostly black and white on the front."

His defense? He thought the bills were real. Come on, everyone knows one-million-dollar bills have Michael Jackson slaying a multi-hued dragon on the front.