Elin Nordegren gives her first and last interview. Lindsay Lohan is freed from rehab. Heidi Montag wants her old boobs back, but not before she sells her sex tape. Wednesday gossip declares its independence.

  • Elin Nordegren gave her first and last interview to People magazine: "I've been through hell." The interview is a class act, which means it's terribly boring, but Elin "fee[s] stronger than I ever have," so that's good. "I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children," the she says. The former Mrs. Tiger Woods won't say how much she got in the divorce settlement, only that "money can't buy happiness or put my family back together." She denies physically abusing Tiger: "There was never any violence inside or outside our home. The speculation that I would have used a golf club to hit him is just truly ridiculous." She adroitly avoids all juicy topics and burning questions (like How the hell did he his pack-a-day hooker addiction from you?) which is pretty impressive given the inherent juiciness of the situation. Avoidance is the new eloquence. [People, HuffPo]
  • Perhaps you've heard: Lindsay Lohan left rehab last night, after 22 days of in-patient treatment. The first thing she did was call her crazy stage mother, Dina, which is probably the worst thing she could do for her sobriety. Linds will continue outpatient treatment for the foreseeable future. [Radar, People, TMZ]
  • Paris Hilton's alleged home invader—the man with "2 big knifes" whose arrest she tweeted—has been charged with burglary, grand theft, and vandalism. Nathan Parada is also dealing with charges from a San Bernadino burglary, so he might be a career criminal. [TMZ, TMZ]
  • Icelandic clothing company E-label claims Beyonce stole a leggings design from them, after purchasing their studded black leggings from Top Shop. Is there any way to design a pair of leggings that don't look like every other pair of leggings in existence? [DailyMail]
  • Drew Barrymore ran into Mark Wahlberg and, with great excitement, told him that her character in Going the Distance gets hot and bothered contemplating him in his underwear. It "didn't go over great." [Popeater]
  • Billionaire tycoon Ron Perelman, age 67, is about to have his seventh child with girlfriend Anna Chapman (not that Anna Chapman) who converted to Judaism for Ron. Mazel tov! May your relationship with Anna last longer than your four marriages did. [P6]
  • Naomi Campbell has a special Jamaican hot sauce she brings to fancy restaurants and sprinkles her food with. Sometimes she makes her boyfriend's bodyguard carry it for her. [P6]
  • Heidi Montag wants her old boobs back: "My boobs are crushing me. I have major anxiety about it." She blames surgery for her flailing marriage to Spencer Pratt: "No one wants to be taking care of his wife who looks like she'd been in a horrific accident" Did I mention she's personally negotiating the multimillion dollar sale of her sex tape, now? [P6, TMZ]
  • Britney Spears wore a bikini in public, and looked hot. Let us pour into the streets with flags and noisemakers to celebrate this most joyous occasion. [DailyMail]

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