Mary-Kate Olsen describes her childhood act as "little monkey performers." The Beach Boys threaten to sue Katy Perry. Lily Allen is pregnant. Enrique Iglesias waterskis naked. Maddox and Pax call their nanny "mom." Thursday gossip's problems go back to childhood.

  • After years of media silence following her public battle with anorexia and friend Heath Ledger's death, Mary-Kate Olsen is finally talking—to express disgust with her years as a child star: "I look at old photos of me, and I don't feel connected to them at all. I would never wish my upbringing on anyone," she says in the new issue of Marie Claire. A lifetime of PR training on gratefulness and grace, however, dies hard, because M-K also says she "wouldn't take it back for the world," even though she thinks she and twin sister Ashley were treated as "little monkey performers." Maybe her dissatisfied childhood explains M-K's desire to turn herself into a little old lady? But seriously, between the progenitor of bad lady chic renouncing her childhood and Britney Spears saying she'd rather lock her kids in their rooms for 30 years rather than let them be famous, is there any doubt that child stardom is a terrible idea? Dakota Fanning notwithstanding. [Daily Mail, Marie Claire, image via Bauer-Griffin]
  • Representatives for the Beach Boys are threatening to sue Katy Perry for cribbing the line "I wish they all could be California girls" in her song "California Gurls." It's unclear whether the Beach Boys actually care about this—their music label sent Katy's label a threatening letter "on behalf of Mike Love and Brian Wilson" demanding writing credit and royalties. Wilson is already on the record saying he likes Katy's song. [P6]
  • Lily Allen is pregnant with boyfriend Sam Cooper. This will be 25-year-old Lily's first child. She famously miscarried in the fourth month in 2008, and spoke publicly about the emotional turmoil. [People]
  • Mark Wahlberg's great regret: Dedicating his 1992 memoir to his penis. Asked about it on a discussion panel, he snapped, "That is the one question I won't answer," noting regretfully, "I thought it would be funny." (Video here.) In the same panel, he was asked whether he'd ever rap again: "If Justin Bieber asks me, I'll say yes." [Time via P6]
  • Dancing with the Stars star Maksim Chmerkovskiy taughted Chelsea Clinton how to dance for her wedding day. [People]
  • Julia Roberts is opposed to Botox: "I want my kids to know when I'm pissed, when I'm happy and when I'm confounded." Consequently, she pledges not to Botox-blast her face away entirely, just somewhat: "[W]omen don't even give themselves a chance to see what they'll look like as older persons. I want to have some idea of what I'll look like before I start cleaning the slates." [People]
  • Jada Pinkett-Smith has three pet red-tail boa constrictors, "named Beauty, Logic, and Passion." She also "brought home a dog and two cats from the streets of China after filming The Karate Kid." Is that even legal? [Us]
  • Maddox and Pax Jolie-Pitt got in a fight over ketchup: "The nanny firmly said, 'Mad, let Paxie have some ketchup.' Maddox said, 'Mom, do I have to?' and Pax was whining, 'Mom, make him give me some.'" The bombshell from this story is supposed to be that the Jolie-Pitt children call their nanny "mom," but I'm more concerned about "Paxie," which sounds like a feminine hygiene product. [InTouch]
  • Among the celebrity celebrations for gay marriage ban Proposition 8 being overturned in court is Ellen DeGeneres, who tweeted "This just in: Equality Won!" Ricky Martin was less reserved: "YEAHHHHH!!!!! #prop8unconstitutional Moving Forward!!!!!!!!" [TMZ]
  • Is Daniel Radcliffe dating the millionaire daughter of Harry Potter's movie producer? Olive Uniacke is "always in and out of his dressing room during filming and she has always been really protective over [Radcliffe]," and now they're being photographed together all the time. What's the appeal? "Olive is renowned for holding some of the best house parties, really great bashes. She can be quite wild. She loves to drink champagne, particularly Moet, and she chain-smokes Camel cigarettes. She also loves to go nightclubbing." [DailyMail]
  • Enrique Iglesias pledged to waterski naked across Miami if Spain won the World Cup. They did, and he did, but it was in the middle of the night, so the video record is inconclusive. [TMZ]
  • Paul Dano, who plays the creepy preacher in There Will Be Blood, is a method actor: To prepare for an upcoming role about a cross-dresser, Dano wore a "midnight blue negligee and auburn wig" to a drag bar. Getting ready with the aid of a drag queen, "He was a little shy about removing his clothes. He said, 'I don't know if I really want to take off my shirt, I'm kind of skinny.' And so I said everyone has body issues and I ripped his shirt off." In terms of getting over one's body issues, that sounds like the worst possible course of action, but in terms of method acting, well, who knows. Method actors are an idiosyncratic bunch. [P6]

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