The Way We Live Now: without the kitchen sink. We sold it off, along with the rest of the house. Had to. Can't afford a home. Can't afford a decent train. And even god can't get us a vacation.

America's home ownership rate continues to fall, and it's now on the verge of a 50-year low. Oh, big surprise, right? Big shocker. Yea, tell us something we don't know, you stupid jerks, always trying to give us information, god.

Hey. Don't bring god into this. That's a priest's job, and they don't intend to lose it. Not even if they have to work every day of the year and get obese and never take a vacation for longer than it took Moses to wander the desert. Job security is an issue these days, whether Hay-Soos has your back or not.

The fact is that you need to put up with these small hardships these days if you expect to be able to survive and thrive in modern America, where the death of your 378-year-old family farm is only a Whole Foods away. Forced to endure horrible delays on your train after the MTA has already wasted hundreds of millions "improving" it? Get over it. Have to sell grilled cheese sandwiches on the black market just to survive? Suck it up. Your own city going broke to pay the pensions for some other city's group of massively overpaid rat bastard "public servants?" Not our problem.

At this point, America doesn't really care how much crack you smoke; it just wants to put you in an apartment and let you crack it up without disturbing the rest of us. Toughen up, for Chrissake. Everything is going to be fine. And if you believe that, we have 7.2 million square feet of New Jersey warehouse space to sell you. Get it while it's cheap. [Pic: crabsandbeer]